Should You Help Your Child Lose Weight?

When a child is overweight or obese, it is hard for parents to know what to do.

Many parents believe that the best course is to simply do nothing and hope the child outgrows it - but the problem with that approach is that we know that overweight children tend to stay that way and become overweight adults at risk for obesity-related diseases and premature death.

According to a 2006 Danish study of more than 275,000 children, being a chubby child puts you at increased risk for heart disease by early adulthood.

However, this doesn't mean that it is not a good idea to nag or pressure a child about his weight.

• An article in the October 14, 2007, edition of U.S. News and World Report reported on a study from the University of Minnesota in which researchers found that teasing a child about his weight made it twice as likely that he would become or remain overweight five years later.
• A similar study (this one covered in the May 10, 1998, Sunday Independent News) revealed that brothers and fathers who tease young girls about their weights can cause eating disorders in later adolescence.
• Several other studies have also found that teasing and pressure from family members is harder for an overweight child to endure than is teasing from friends at school. It also does not work to single out one child as "the dieter" in the family, the one person eating celery and carrots while everyone else has dessert.

How to Help

Each child is an individual. Many overweight children do not have self-esteem issues and just need to lose a few pounds. Others are the victims of bullies at school and perceive themselves as completely unattractive. You know your child best, and you know which of the following general guidelines might work for your individual family.

Tip #1 - If your child is severely obese, which means his body mass index (BMI) is in or above the 95th percentile for his age, weight, and height, you need to address the problem with your doctor. Doctors today are seeing children as young as seven years old with signs of obesity-related diseases that used to only appear in adults. Some of these children have "middle-aged arteries," diabetes, and joint problems.

Never put a child on a weight-loss diet without medical supervision. If your child is obese or severely overweight, you may also consider professional interventions such as a summer camp for overweight children, a residential boarding school for overweight teens and adolescence, or a reputable and well established weight loss program for children, teens, and adolescents.

Tip #2 - If your child's weight is interfering with her ability or motivation to exercise, you need to help her get an appropriate amount of daily physical activity. It is particularly important to help your child establish a life-long habit of exercising every day.

Your child may doesn't want to wear shorts or be seen jogging, and she may try to get out of gym class, where studies show most teasing takes place. If this is the case, you can help her by exercising with her, or finding a sport she enjoys. The best fitness-supporting sports are those that keep participants moving, such as bicycling or swimming.

Tip #3 - Do you suspect that your child has an eating disorder? If so, you need to take action. Disordered eating can have nothing to do with how much a child actually weighs - thin children develop eating disorders too. Behaviors to be on the lookout for include the following:

• Sneaky eating or lying about how much he ate
• Eating at strange hours (the "night kitchen" syndrome)
• Limiting her diet to a restrictive list of foods,
• Self-induced vomiting or periods of extreme exercise after eating
• Using food as a means of soothing himself in times of stress.

If your child has been displaying any of these behaviors, you should consult your doctor and, if necessary, get a referral for an eating disorder specialist.

Tip #4 - If your child feels very depressed about her weight, believes she is unattractive, or if she feels socially isolated because of her weight, you can intervene in a gentle way. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen and let her know that she is loved and accepted the way she is.

Again, her feelings may not be based upon a realistic assessment of her weight or body shape. Studies show that normal-weight children can obsess about their weight and suffer from self-esteem issues if they believe they are too fat. Help your child feel more attractive by finding stylish clothes that are similar to what her peer group is wearing. Help her find activities that she can excel in now.

Studies show that overweight children have normal levels of self-esteem if other areas of their lives are working for them, such as achieving good grades or excelling in some hobby.

Tip #5 - The most effective approach to helping children become slim and healthy is to involve the entire family. The best attitude is one that embraces the philosophy that "we're all going to get healthy together."

Get rid of the junk food in the house, eat less fast food, walk more, participate in outdoor activities over the weekends, and sit down and eat healthy meals - together. When parents provide examples worthy of emulation, children will follow - and achieving and maintaining a healthy weight becomes much easier.

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